Sunday, July 12, 2009

Shoes I Hate

We all know that 90% of this blog is an excuse for me to talk about what kind of shoes I love. That's why everyone knows that I'm obsessed with: 1) boots; 2) architechtural heels; 3) shoes with zippers; 4) green shoes.

But there's another side to that coin: dislike. As it's oft mentioned, I happen to hate sneakers. I also hate Crocs and Uggs. (And I mean this in a general sense, not when these shoes are needed for practicality, like hiking, gardening or trekking through the snow.) Here's another one for that list--and this may be the shoe that I hate most of all--fringe. I hatehatehatehateHATE fringe shoes. Behold the fringe mania of my discontent:

This trend hit the mainstream last year on winter boots before creeping up on summer shoes. But though these warm-weather variants call back to the very debut of the fringe trend, tell me: how absolutely fugly are these booties? I know I can't change your mind if you're a fringephile, since my very own best girlfriend insists on wearing her fringe-bedecked footwear out even to bars where we hope to meet men. But I beseech you, dear reader, not to wear anything with fringe, star-print cutouts and gives the illusion of cankles. I beg!

Why did someone have to staple that ugly swatch of fringe felt to an otherwise cute sandal?

This flip-flop is just as attractive--if not more so--without the fringe, yes/yes?

Isabella Fiore - Riga (Rust) - Footwear

And these--sans fringe, these blood-orange beauties would be perfect for a cocktail dress, right? (Actually, on these heels, I can truly see the appeal of the fringe--to tickle your toes as you slide them on! Hey, that's fun!)

DV by Dolce Vita - Maraco (Black Suede) - Footwear

For that special occasion when just the top of your foot gets a wee bit chilly?

Sergio Rossi - Yvette-AV6796 (Cargo) - Footwear

...because your ankles wanna go out dressed as little hula dancers, and you can't stop them?

Throughout the weeks as I painstakingly comb through shoe sales and shoe deals, I keep running into this loathsome trend, each shoe more ugly than the last. When I see the fringed shoes on the streets of New York City, it appalls just as viscerally. I have never seen fringe shoes that don't look utterly pointless. If I've ever found one pair that seemed half-decent, it was this bizarre blend of fringe sandal and boat shoe, from Payless:


There's something so chipper and Tiffany-esque about the coloring and design that you can almost overlook the fringe. Almost. At least it kind of sneaks up on you, other than these costume-like variations:

O'neill Sandals & Shoes - Womens - Cherokee Sandal

This is legitamately called "The Cherokee" by O'Neill. No joke. Someone tell me how this fits into the brand's surfer babe beach-bum aesthetic?

Minnetonka - Thunderbird Suede Boat Sole (Brown Suede) - Footwear

Of course, if you go all-out moccasin, it's more understandable to see the stamp of fringe, but then you're wearing a moccasin, so it's really pretty lose-lose.

When winter comes, I intend to do a secondary round-up of boots and booties with fringe trim. Assuming, that is, that the trend will persist in a few months' time. I'd like to pretend it'll just go away like a bad dream but, alas. If I cannot get my dearest and best friend to quit wearing fringe on her feet, I suspect my meager pleas and protests won't breach the masses anytime soon.


Gemma said...

Some lovely shoes here.

Anonymous said...

Yeh, she must have glam mixed up with spam, all native people, this chick is bound to rename her blog Native Fringe Bashers...we will know her when she shows up at powwow in patent leather, LOL